okay so i told yall that i'd post again tonight. so i'm doing it. i just attempted to do some yoga on video. i think books work so much better for me. they go wayyy too fast on the tapes. so tonight at the huge stepfamily gathering thing, (which happens everytime they have a birthday, so it's often and painstaking) it was just terrible. they ask all the questions that you're just so tired of that you dont think that anyone could be so redundant to ask it AGAIN, but they DO. tonight we got there 30 minutes late because my mom always takes 30 minutes longer that she says she's gonna take REGARDLESS to get ready. so the party thing wasnt as long as it usually is. my stepdad is treated like a war hero for supporting ross and me this whole time. as if ross and i put him through hell every day. as if ross and i didnt go through anything. as if ross and i had a say in the matter. as if we asked and begged him for that. i do appreciate it, but if he doesnt want to do it, he doesnt have to. it shouldnt be his obligation.
and i DID get the lately gossip from my stepbrother. he tells me all the juice because i dont spill it. i'm not a threat to his social life at ALL. i might be a good thing since i'm somebody he can let it all out to.
i've been really bitter and introspective lately. i'm not sure, maybe i'm going through some phaze or something. but i'm so critical and cynical about everything. i try not to be. maybe i'm just ready for school. i'm not tired of summer and i'm not DYING to go back to school, but i'm well-prepared i think. i think i can take it on. i do have to finish summer reading though. hah that'd be a wonderful start. i guess i better start looking for a new layout considering that this theme wont apply anymore. PAIX!

i don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love. i dont know how someone controlled you. they bought and sold you. - george harrison