tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50454172011-07-28T08:56:35.838-07:00satrapesstopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.comBlogger871100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1095474300970573022004-09-17T19:20:00.000-07:002004-09-17T19:31:47.780-07:00and i close my eyes. no stimulating bright lights to be seen. all of my senses are projected to only the push-over keys, just waiting for me to punch them and knock them down. i use them and i use them hard, harrassing the page with words and thoughts that i want to convey so well. this is writing. i'm wringing myself out for the good stuff.
i'm too tired to do that
"HEEERRRE comes Me!" campbelltopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com86tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1083002171756274292004-04-26T10:56:00.000-07:002004-04-26T11:00:17.750-07:00i used to be really close to my cousin. really close. i wont explain all the details of why, because it was purely situational. we were very close. god i loved her. really, i did a lot of things that are hers. ironic because i hate when people do what i do. it makes me think. my biggest pet peeve is when people "take over" my music when i dont give it to them, or when people suffocate me and topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1081784070486831212004-04-12T08:34:00.000-07:002004-04-12T08:38:18.106-07:00silence. softness. sleep. gentle sleep. unstartled dreams. unmoved closed eyelids. somehow opened gradually. back to sleep. sleeping in intervals of waking up and looking at my calm light blue-almost-white ceiling. light reflecting off of it. strech my arms, roll over. hug my bear and bunny. sleep more. half-awake now, kinda dosing off. obviously early morning. step dad at the foot of the stairs topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1081748204536275962004-04-11T22:36:00.000-07:002004-04-11T22:40:31.576-07:00so it's over. the sixteen milestone. feels pretty old. (for lack of poetic description). parents were good to me. good lord, everyone was good to me. easter birthday. the kind of thing i've always wanted. always loved those coincidences. just thinking about me as a child, i know i would have loved it even more, going to st. andrew's church on easter and telling everyone it's my birthday. i would topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1081048695717630262004-04-03T19:18:00.000-08:002004-04-03T19:21:52.310-08:00nothing can bite into self-esteem more than a day of clothes shopping. especially trying on. especially for SPRING clothes. especially the things that i dont try on in the store, but think they are going to fit, so by laziness i dont take the time to try things on, but try them on at home. DISAPPOINTMENT. hate this. i'm not eating anything but fruit and water tomorrow. i ahve a ritsy step-family topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1080972159430899432004-04-02T22:02:00.000-08:002004-04-02T22:16:46.810-08:00when i hear Honey and the Moon i am in love with everything. the way people talk to me. the respect in people's voices and words. the beauty. i feel so whole. although there are so many lies. so many imperfections. i love you, world. i love you, sky. i love life so much. even though i miss so many close friendships, i know i have ones SO STRONG to make up for the slack. it makes me melt to have topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1080877983511594862004-04-01T19:53:00.000-08:002004-04-01T19:56:36.983-08:00free myself. let go and just make everything go up. make it soar. make it go past all the tedious worries. freedom. freedom. run away tonight. run away from all the temptations. complexes. mindsets. surroundings. make it my own world. everything i perceive is my world, no mattter how it is portrayed. i dont know what life is. there is no way to know. why? why? why? is all i can ask. it doesnt topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1073436077248691042004-01-06T16:41:00.000-08:002004-01-07T11:07:06.123-08:00ya know i pride myself on being humble? having a humble persona. now think about that statement. PRIDE myself on being HUMBLE. oxymoron at its best. the epitomy of oxymorons.
so i'm abandoning the statement.
that's a shocker.
christians are supposed to be humble, but not insecure, and i think that when i look at myself in the mirror and i have make up in front of me and i dont wear topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1070493026270948432003-12-02T20:09:00.000-08:002003-12-03T15:11:21.670-08:00so wow. things are so much better. and so much different.
i just think that summer makes people lonely sometimes. maybe it's the whole break from school. but the holiday break is good because you're still around people and still around the WONDERFUL cozy feeling of CHRISTMAS. last year was hard. last Christmas wasnt my favorite, but this one i'm feeling will make ammends.
i have noticed that topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1069631638330737402003-11-23T15:53:00.000-08:002003-11-23T15:54:38.950-08:00i wanna be in a john hughs film.
ya know? pretty in pink, 16 candles, breakfast club, st. elmo's fire...one of those. i love the comparison of clean, fresh, ray-ban clad, bmw driving, a-ha listening popular groups to the punk nobody. i love relating them to eachother. i love it. i just want that so badly!! it's so chilling and just FUN to watch the whole layout of their lifestyle and how topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1068092944122295192003-11-05T20:29:00.000-08:002003-11-05T20:29:21.840-08:00maybe i do need help with some things in my life.
i always thought that faith and good will were more important than the little sins. just like how grammar isnt as important as the overall message and structure of a piece of literature.
when i get so meticulous as to even perfect the little things, i almost feel like i've lost my path. i feel like i havent really covered any REAL ground. any topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1066872919781808862003-10-22T18:35:00.000-07:002003-10-22T18:35:19.496-07:00stuff is going on. i'm involved in it. sometimes i feel like the middle person, like i'm just watching, but most of the time i feel pretty involved. good stuff is going on. weird, awkward stuff is going on. frustration is present, but often cornered by relief. i'm more reserved. i'm less self-righteous. i'm extremely happy about that. i had more fun being outgoing, but i think i'm becoming maybe topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1066100479152147762003-10-13T20:01:00.000-07:002003-10-13T20:01:19.346-07:00i know how to manage my time. i just have to relearn actually managing it.
today was unbelievably stressful. i don't think i realized that until the crosscountry meet. i had a weekend to prepare myself for the race, study, write an english paper and write a history paper. i wasn't prepared for the race, i didn't ice my leg this whole weekend. i wrote both papers today AT school during study topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1065927702613278842003-10-11T20:01:00.000-07:002003-10-11T20:01:42.813-07:00it seems so often that i find myself whispering to myself "just leave him alone, just leave him alone"
do we really lose people? i know you can lose friends and stuff...and i dont know if that's what i'm experiencing. i read the entries that i've written and everything just seems like a soap opra rollercoaster. i only write in here when i'm feeling shakey i guess.
i used to talk about how i hadtopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1065666005048497492003-10-08T19:20:00.000-07:002003-10-08T19:45:59.686-07:00i've heard of fair-weathered friends. I just now heard of seasonal friends.
fall is and always has been my favorite season. i really rely on seasons. playing in leaves. going up to oxford and seeing all the green fade and orange take over. pumpkin bread. breezes. bike ride. family football games. i used to be excited about soccer. cross-country. everything is just blissful and fall is such a topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1064894224452891632003-09-29T20:57:00.000-07:002003-09-29T20:59:29.246-07:00YAY COOL NEW STUFF! the question thing from meredith :
1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.
1. What do you like best about topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1064284574266741412003-09-22T19:36:00.000-07:002003-09-22T19:37:47.370-07:00i dont want to blog anymore. i dont want to race anymore. i dont want to deal with wanting to be some part of his life. i dont want to worry about grades anymore. i dont want to take a shower. i dont want to feel really low about myself right now. i dont want to deal with jack. i dont want to deal with having feelings for somebody and wanting them to have feelings for me even though they used to.topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1063591848162868402003-09-14T19:10:00.000-07:002003-09-14T19:14:28.666-07:00There is this picture of me running at a cross-country meet where the girl in front and all the girls in front and behind me look miserable. I’m smiling. There is an appealing characteristic to me in being mysterious: smiling when things are miserable. I did it for the camera, and know where that attitude sprouted from. It comes from people saying the oh-so-cliché “I’m going to smile but I’m topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1063503384925852312003-09-13T18:36:00.000-07:002003-09-13T18:37:31.006-07:00"Narnia, Narnia, Narnia, awake. Love. Think. Speak. Be walking trees. Be talking beasts. Be divine waters." - Aslan from The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis
It's so great to be enchanted on a boring Saturday. To lie in bed all day, briefly talk on the phone with another bored person, and then to eat popcorn, drink diet coke and read GREAT beloved books that haven't been opened in 6 years topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1063318946363020682003-09-11T15:22:00.000-07:002003-09-11T15:22:26.360-07:00i wanted to start this post out with something easy like doing the thursday three or something. maybe a survey. but thursday three hasnt updated in a while so i dont have any questions. so i guess it's getting harder and harder for me to write these posts.
i'm really not as lonely anymore. my friendships are pretty balanced, and i'm pretty neutral. i dont spaz and worry as much. i guess that topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1062545371949321232003-09-02T16:29:00.000-07:002003-09-02T16:29:31.903-07:00it's a tragedy. it's death. he was thrown from the toyota tacoma at 12:08 on friday night. it's so eery because he'd been in the back of my mind. he was the one in art class that sat in the corner, laughed with friends, but was ultimately quiet. i'm almost embarrased for even thinking "hmm he'd make that great boyfriend, or friend..he's so quietly attractive." none of those silly notions matter topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1061937627733379252003-08-26T15:40:00.000-07:002003-08-26T15:40:27.660-07:00i have to get this out in the open right now. i feel exposed when i write in my blog. i feel judged and prodded at because i get questions like this:
Von xhito: what happened with your man? read something in your jounral
mswildchild2 3: oh everything cleared up
mswildchild2 3: back to normal now
Von xhito: so together?
mswildchild2 3: why are you asking me questions like that?
Von xhito: ok nvm
topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1061246542516245212003-08-18T15:42:00.000-07:002003-08-26T15:09:02.540-07:00" We're Going To Be Friends "
Fall is here, hear the yell
back to school, ring the bell
brand new shoes, walking blues
climb the fence, books and pens
I can tell that we're going to be friends
Walk with me, Suzy Lee
through the park and by the tree
we will rest upon the ground
and look at all the bugs we found
then safely walk to school
without a sound
Well here we are, no one else
we walkedtopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1061246252659945732003-08-18T15:37:00.000-07:002003-08-18T15:38:17.690-07:00things are weird. i guess that's starting school and all, and though so many things have changed now that i'm a (whoop whoop!) SOPHOMORE baby, i've changed. i've developed confidence. if i havent quite developed it, it's developing right now. confidence really is the key to everything. faith. trust. love. friendship. maybe i'm obnoxious sometimes, but i'm not fully matured yet either. i guess topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-106083644511204272003-08-13T21:47:00.000-07:002003-08-13T21:52:42.576-07:00YOU BETCHA!
you bet i had an unexpectedly GRAND day.
woke up at 12.
graeme calls and wants to go to lunch.
went to kudzu cafe, we drove around a while, and then hung out at my house.
he had to leave because my mom left & wont let me be home by myself with a boy.
chloe calls and asks me to go to O'Charleys with a bunch of us girls!!
i cant go because momma doesnt topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1060736380378776812003-08-12T17:59:00.000-07:002003-08-12T17:59:40.160-07:00it felt like i was in new orleans for a week. my 2 brothers, mom and stepdad and i went and checked in to the hotel and then went to a super old restaurant called galatoir's, and then walked around on bourbon street. i swear the streets were so crowded, everyone seemed to blend into eachother. the street chattered with people. people walked like laughter, skiddishly with noise. it was if they topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1060472130497964152003-08-09T16:35:00.000-07:002003-08-09T19:06:14.916-07:00i am ready for some of those new beginnings. i'm sick of living this way. i live in doubt. i am almost anti-social, that i scare people when i reach out to them. i'm not an anti-social kind of person. im not built that way. i guess that's why i'm so ready for school to start. i need some GIRL friends. hehe i like to hang out with guys so much because they are so much easier to hang around, but topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1060205093415905162003-08-06T14:24:00.000-07:002003-08-06T14:39:29.436-07:00 lastnight/today has been extremely productive!!! not only did i go to bed BEFORE midnight (woop woop!), but just minutes after i woke up, i went downstairs and organized the computer room. i folded laundry, did dishes, made a slimfast. then i went upstairs and read part of my summer reading.
i'm reading this quite wonderful book called Lest Innocent Blood Be Shed. it took a lot of topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1059969950419766042003-08-03T21:05:00.000-07:002003-08-03T21:05:50.363-07:00okay so i told yall that i'd post again tonight. so i'm doing it. i just attempted to do some yoga on video. i think books work so much better for me. they go wayyy too fast on the tapes. so tonight at the huge stepfamily gathering thing, (which happens everytime they have a birthday, so it's often and painstaking) it was just terrible. they ask all the questions that you're just so tired of topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1059948555462948242003-08-03T15:09:00.000-07:002003-08-03T15:09:15.480-07:00..::WORD ASSOCIATION::..
+Hurt: absence
+Love: trial
+Screw: following
+Whore:insecure
+Trust: solid
+Pretty: delicate
+God: understanding
+Hate: contagious
+Sick: hollow
+Sexy: fabricated
+Want: is everything
+Need: hope
+Fake: happiness
+Yearn: freedom
+Happiness: gateway
+Pure: empty
+Lunchbox: childhood
+Your Everything: music
ugh i've just been so frustrated! i just i dont know what to topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1059568621929907042003-07-30T05:37:00.000-07:002003-07-30T05:37:01.820-07:00topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1059567935407832032003-07-30T05:25:00.000-07:002003-07-30T05:37:32.683-07:00and the house has no movement. even it's asleep right now in the midst of silence. it's 7 am. i'm about to go running. i just washed my face so it has a stubborn feeling of clean and pure. i am dry, and in half an hour my skin will be moist with sweat and i will be fulfilled. both dry and moist, i see the sensations of the early morning. i dont see that a lot, considering that i usually dont waketopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1059541531910993852003-07-29T22:05:00.000-07:002003-07-30T05:38:58.086-07:00it is very difficult for me to stand my ground while not loosing control about things. it's hard to be a christian when i'm upset at somebody because they betrayed/hurt me. it's hard for me to hold it in. it's hard for me to be that dark cloud that doesnt rain all over people. it's so relieving to rain all over a person, and get it all out, but all i feel after i've let out the storm is EMPTY. i topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1059361046982704502003-07-27T19:57:00.000-07:002003-07-27T19:57:26.786-07:00this day really hasnt been that interesting, so i was reluctant to write about it. i DID watch gangs of new york for the first time, and i thought that it was just a huge melting pot of all of these emotions building up. then, at the ending battle scene, it just explodes and then doesnt matter anymore. it was beautiful. yet again, like the pianist, it was gorey and all, but that's not what stood topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1059199124676635922003-07-25T22:58:00.000-07:002003-07-25T23:07:13.220-07:00i just realized how tired i am. SO tired. i've been home for a while. we got home around 7, and then i sorta unpacked, wrote a letter to chloe at camp, went and got mcalisters, and sat around on the comp (checking mail, catching up and what not {WHICH IS SO MUCH FUN!!}). then ben lee came on the tom green show for like 5 MINUTES. but i was pleased. eee love his music. anyway. so that ended at 12 topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1058714723931728862003-07-20T08:25:00.000-07:002003-07-20T08:25:23.903-07:00stole this one from mer!!
last cigarette: dont smoke
last car ride: This morning from my dad's house to my mom's
last kiss: hmm a while ago
last good cry: wow...like a month ago
last library book checked out: a year ago but i still have them checked out (oops)
last movie seen at the theaters: Finding Nemo
last book read: The Great Gatsby
last cuss word uttered: shit
last beverage drank: watertopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1058559519377025132003-07-18T13:18:00.000-07:002003-07-18T13:18:39.336-07:00anyway, so i'm stuck here all day because i need to finish packing for destin.i'll probably go run or go to the pool or something, but i know i'm not going far. and yesterday i didnt go out of my house very much because i needed to pack then too. i barely noticed that it's friday. i'm going to my dad's this weekend, so i'm glad about that. he's so much more easy going and he'll let me do what i topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1058395115361653222003-07-16T15:38:00.000-07:002003-07-16T15:38:59.453-07:00this is why:
when i saw this lay out, i initially saw the deep orange color, and the big white stripe in it. it looked so functional, it looked so fresh. the deep orange color reminded me of the sunset, and then i thought it looked too rational to be just a regular sunset. it looked like it was in uniform. so the name just popped up "sunset in uniform". No extra meaning AT ALL.
then i started topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1058236290166760002003-07-14T19:31:00.000-07:002003-07-14T22:37:52.853-07:00matt just called and i'm talking to him so i'm so cheered up. weird how things work out so great. haha i dont know but i'm in such a better mood now.
okay so off the phone and in a serious blog-down-and-dirty mood. i really didnt want to blog at all...but i had something to say. a lot really has been going on around here, i just havent really noticed HOW MUCH until i sat down here and tried to topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-1058042221809204102003-07-12T13:37:00.000-07:002003-07-13T00:09:57.000-07:00i feel like i've been gone for EVER!!! it's really not that long though. here's the explanation if anyone missed me!
okay the friday after my most recent blog, my computer got crashed because of a virus in one of my shared folders. the devil worships kazaa.
i didnt get my computer back for another week.
life was great without it because i worked out most of the time, got my room super cleantopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-958111362003-06-18T18:38:00.000-07:002003-06-18T18:38:37.180-07:00somebody help me!! haha all i've been listening to is rap. ALL of it. hahaha...my play list right now is: emotions- twista, oxy cotton- lil wyte, thug holiday- trick daddy, i can tell- 504 boys, get low- lil jon and the eastside boys...
hahaha YEAH I KNOW how retarded that is...or maybe not... rap puts me in a revved up mood.
EVERYONE WHO READS THIS HAS TO DOWNLOAD Mission Impossible by Rehab.topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-957306832003-06-16T14:38:00.000-07:002003-06-16T14:38:32.370-07:00i went swimming today. i was the only one there.
there's something about swimming by yourself that makes you notice so many things that you dont even think about when it's crowded.
i noticed the bottom of the pool and how it's tie-dyed with the creases of light shining through the water. i noticed how when i swam a bit, the water was like silk in a liquid form. it filled all the curves in my topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-956667262003-06-14T11:49:00.000-07:002003-06-14T11:52:23.000-07:00 okay. BLINDED by thirdeyeblind is wow.
it's just great music bundled up and tied up with a string. and then somebody unties the string and all the good stuff bursts out and falls in every which direction in a flying oblivian when he says "but when i see you!!". AHHH it's just wonderful!!!mmm.
i love music like that. it just makes me wanna wiggle, or strut my stufftopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-956328852003-06-13T09:01:00.000-07:002003-06-13T09:17:50.000-07:00so it's friday the thirteenth,
I definitely JUST realized that. It's my luck that now that i've realized that, i'm gonna have bad luck for the rest of the day. I mean, seriously, my day was going pretty well. I'm at my stepdad's office, working. No, not really. I've been sitting on my butt for the past hour and he's gonna pay me for that. I dont understand that, and I'm not gonna let topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-955282402003-06-10T17:34:00.000-07:002003-06-10T17:34:31.566-07:00i want so badly to have something incredible to write about. i feel like the middle ground sometimes. i feel like i am inbetween the extremities of life. so many times i have been irrational and dramatic, but for a couple of months now i've been in the middle for the first time in a long time. i've been in the eye of the storm.
i have also been pretty distant from myself lately. i guess i haventtopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-954358052003-06-08T13:48:00.000-07:002003-06-08T13:54:47.000-07:00i am very happy that the survey was so popular!! haha
this weekend was really cool. super cool. all thanks to bhova!! i had a lot of fun spending time with yall. i went to go see xmen 2.. TERRIBLE movie!! haha i wanted to see that cool kissing scene, but it really really wasnt that cool. so dont see it.
does anyone remember wearing headbands when they were little?
i did!! and there are some topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-953612262003-06-06T00:18:00.000-07:002003-06-06T00:18:36.803-07:00i'm addicted to food. i had a large craving for oreos and milk. it's 2 in the morning. and then i decided to write about that in my blog. dont even begin to tell me how weird i am, because i already know it.
topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-953142932003-06-04T20:54:00.000-07:002003-06-04T21:07:59.000-07:00DESCRIBE YOUR...
Wallet : it's a suade zip thingy with flowers sewn on it
Hairbrush : it's navy blue and black and the pokey things are spread out
Toothbrush - it's purple
Jewellery worn daily : hemp necklace- i had it on for a while...i take it off sometimes, and i just put it back on
Pillow cover : pink with white little flowers
Blanket : pink, green and blue quilt
Cup : haha it's a HUGE nejsotopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-953028012003-06-04T15:07:00.000-07:002003-06-04T15:07:51.706-07:00okay so the most exciting thing that's happened so far in the past couple days is that....dun dun dun...jack and i broke up. it's not really that big of a deal i guess, but the main reason, the reason that really sums it up is that it's summer and we dont see eachother as much and i dont want a relationship right now. i mean, i JUST got out of a relationship, and glided into another one. quite topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-951698572003-06-01T17:45:00.000-07:002003-06-01T17:45:43.313-07:00i've been at the pool for the past 4 or 5 hours. i'm SO waterlogged! and now i'm drinking water..hehe...i think i'm about to go to sleep... i watched drumline and deuces wild and deuces wild had a fairly higher rating in my book. drumline was entertaining, but it just lacked something. i'm not sure what it lacked but it was okay. OMG i watched POWDEr last night...haha i really like that movie a topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-949959272003-05-28T09:55:00.000-07:002003-05-28T09:56:46.000-07:00so i'm sitting here waiting for my mom to get all ready to take me to the country club. thus the basis of what im doing for the rest of the summer. i'm thinking of going and lying out on my drive way so i wont be missing any sun while i'm waiting. so i was just sitting here and i decided to go back and read my previous blogs. i think that the blogs i went through involuntarily symbolize the way topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-949171582003-05-26T17:48:00.000-07:002003-05-26T17:48:40.566-07:00THE BEACH WAS SO STELLAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm completely upset that i'm home. it's so dissapointing after being at the beach. i'll be sure to post some nice pics up here too. definitely met surferboys...i didnt know that people surfed on the gulf of mexico? haha...it was beautiful. they were beautiful.
it's so much better to go somewhere away from home and be able to have topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-945389382003-05-18T08:51:00.000-07:002003-05-18T08:51:48.270-07:00after reading a comment from a very special reader named ERIN , i decided to answer the question very diligently.
question: was the pianist any good?
answer: MUCHO YESO!!!!!!!! okay it was gory and all, but really, that's not what stood out to me AT ALL. The Jewish struggle is so well explained in the movie, and i liked how they focused on only one person's struggle and survival. it was beautifultopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-945214232003-05-17T20:22:00.000-07:002003-05-17T20:23:10.000-07:00my problem is you make me melt and i dont want to stay frozen anymore. - incubus
my head hurts. well like...my right eyebrow hurts like a headache. i'm thinking alexishly, and i'm longing for a new layout, but my problem is that i dont know how to make them and i dont want to go searching for one, so once again, laziness hampers me.
today was...eventful...i woke up at 11, got dressed and went topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-943552722003-05-14T16:05:00.000-07:002003-05-14T16:05:53.083-07:00eeee!!!!!!!!!! dawson's creek LAST EPISODE tonight!! i'm so so so so so so so excited...and sad...i'm gonna be SUPERGLUED to the tv...i might even stay for the commercials i'm so extatic about it.
i worked out today, and jack came too and that helped a lot! he made me a cd! SO SWEET. his birthday is next week and i dont know what to get him...what do i get a guy that i've been dating for a topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-941290412003-05-10T19:19:00.000-07:002003-05-10T19:19:44.510-07:00i had a bunch of stuff written on here. i accidentally hit the "back" button and it erased the whole thing. i guess that it's kinda a sign that i wasnt supposed to write that stuff. i'm kinda bothered by something that happened last night.
i really didnt want to blog tonight. i do want to let out some thoughts that i have though.
yesterday was great. graduation. ceremony was hot (gym...no AC) topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-938237372003-05-05T14:31:00.000-07:002003-05-05T14:31:37.440-07:00food is my best friend. I LOVE FOOD. i really do, there is nothing that good food can do wrong, except make a person a little cushy and pleasantly plump and soft. even more so, i crave sandwiches more than any kind of food. ahhh sandwiches are a blessing from sandwich heaven. therefore i list the best sandwiches in town. not in order, because once a sandwich is promoted to the almighty list of topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-936869812003-05-02T20:31:00.000-07:002003-05-02T20:31:23.800-07:00i love you evan i love you evan i love you evan...even though you might smell like trashcans...hmm...wonder why that is? YOU BELONNGGG IN A TRASHCAN, MAN!topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-936297772003-05-01T19:24:00.000-07:002003-05-01T19:24:27.936-07:0012 real days of school left.
i felt really out of place today afterschool. matt seems to be happily best friends with all these new people and i dont know how to deal with it because he's my best friend. lauren has all of her friends at her school and i dont know if i'm on her "important friend" list. robert is just better than me in everything and i dont know where i belong. andrew freaks me topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-935601682003-04-30T16:14:00.000-07:002003-04-30T16:14:17.053-07:0013 real days of school left. AGH SO MUCH WORK TO DO. since i missed yesterday and the day before, i have even more, and i'm talking SO MUCH WORK because i have to make As on everything or i'm superscrewed majorly.
some things make me so mad...and i had one really good example in mind but i just went scatterbrained and forgot it. but i am mad that i didnt run for anything for student council. i topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-934747582003-04-29T09:53:00.000-07:002003-04-29T09:53:27.610-07:00okay so i'm waiting on my mom to get ready to go to my great-grandmother's funeral. she was friggin 100 years old. she had the strongest values of anyone i know, and because she didnt worry about anything but what she believed in, she lived for so long. over a short week, she began to get weak and grumpy, and then she knew it was just time for her to go.
i remember that when i was little i topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-929563032003-04-20T18:38:00.000-07:002003-04-20T18:38:31.560-07:00easter was...SO relaxing...i mean no family hype at all...nothing. we went to church and then keegan's to eat and that was it. it was perrfect. but my little cousins came over and then....
the easter egg hunt was a terrible thing. i shouldnt have used real eggs... it was awful.
anway- but then i went to the pool (despite the overcastness) and ran, and played bball and i guess it was an overall topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-929123712003-04-19T18:59:00.000-07:002003-04-19T19:03:49.000-07:00is there some kind of unwritten law that people cant blog twice in one day?...ya know what...i'm bloggin' again baby!!!...anyway i have htis really important song htat really means a lot to me.and i know i cant type the word THAT at all ever...but i'm too lazy to go back and correct it, so i guess i just made a sentence about the fact that i cant type the word THAT..instead of taking the same topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-929070582003-04-19T16:08:00.000-07:002003-04-19T16:08:44.403-07:00look...i know how uncool and ungreat this layout that i PICKED and ADJUSTED (not made) is compared to all the wonderfully talented blogs that i read....but i'm SO proud of it. !!!!!! i woke up at 11 and headed straight to the pool *(even though it's extreeemely overcast)* and had fun roughing it up with my little brother and his friends. it was hardy and great, and to tell you the truth, in atopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-928089922003-04-17T17:42:00.000-07:002003-04-17T17:42:33.216-07:00thurSDay ThreE
1. Where in the world would you love to live? new orleans, chapel hill, boston
2. Where in the world would you hate to live? right where i am...jackson
3. Which world culture intrigues you most? i love hawaiians topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-927507812003-04-16T18:49:00.000-07:002003-04-16T18:58:32.000-07:00i was at my brother's baseball game today (6 to 1 baby!!!!!!) and i was kinda letting the wind deal with me as i was soo out of it, and i was just looking around, and i caught the gaze of a one-year-old. she was dressed in a fabricated flower-infested baby suit, and was draped with hawaiian punch stains all over the suit. she didnt giggle, she didnt cry, she didnt drool. she smiled and smiled andtopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-926233492003-04-14T19:33:00.000-07:002003-04-14T19:35:20.000-07:00i was going to go running today. i guess i kinda didnt feel like it. i will tomorrow.
i realized something really important today. i realized that you dont always have to voice your opinions to be heard. i listened to somebody go on and on and on about a controversial topic, totally out of place, and i guess it kind of reminded me of myself. i was sitting in the car today on the way home from topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-923862752003-04-10T14:53:00.000-07:002003-04-10T14:56:21.000-07:00thURsday thREe
1. Which night/day do you favour most? tuesdays...because it's still the beginning of the week, but you've had monday to get adjusted to the groove of the week
2. Which night/day do you least favour? thursdays...hehe...i just dont like the fact that it's like i'm waiting and waiting for friday, and thursday just makes the wait longer
3. Which is your favourite month? september, topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-918788132003-04-02T16:51:00.000-08:002003-04-02T17:17:39.000-08:00 today it was as if the sweat sticking to my forehead and cheeks had some kind of sunlight power to make me look all rosey, and if sweat actually did that, i would be running A LOT more that i usually do, and a LOT more than i did today. i had fun though, i felt a lot better than i have in a whole long time about myself. i've been so unsure and skeptical of myself and my surroundings, yet i topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-915247932003-03-27T20:25:00.000-08:002003-03-27T20:29:18.000-08:00THursday THree
1. Whats the one word that you hate to hear? ejaculate
2. What word or saying do you over use? probably "omg", "sweet","definitely"
3. What is your favourite film quote?You tell them that our lives can change with every breath we take... and to hold on like hell to what they've got: each other, and a mother who would die for them and almost did... You tell them we've all got badtopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-910150122003-03-19T13:35:00.000-08:002003-03-19T13:47:19.000-08:00it's too gorgeous of a day to be spending it away from home making war. what a day to start a war. say a prayer for the toy soldiers away from the toy boxes. say a prayer for the toy soldiers' daughters and sons and wives and husbands. say a prayer for the toy soldiers you know, and the toy soldiers you havent even had a chance to play with or know. say a pray for the toy soldiers taht wont be topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-909682152003-03-18T19:56:00.000-08:002003-03-18T20:00:38.000-08:00Come and see
I swear by now I'm playing time
I against my troubles
I'm coming slow but speeding
Do you wish a dance and while I'm
in the front
the play on time is won
but the difficulty is coming here
I will go in this way
And find my own way out
I wont tell you to stay
But I'm coming to much more
Me
All at once the ghosts come back
Reeling in you now
What if they came down crushing
Remember topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-909621622003-03-18T18:10:00.000-08:002003-03-18T19:57:22.000-08:00okay i never realized HOW much i love trying on dresses. we must have gone to ten stores today...yes...in jackson, because my mother was on a mission. i have to look absolutely more perfect than perfect for,well, ninth grade graduation. yeah, and i have to have two dresses. even more of the jolly good fun.
actually i did kinda like it. made me feel pretty.
topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-908963682003-03-17T18:58:00.000-08:002003-03-17T19:32:51.000-08:00i've been studying mega loads today. my math teacher is letting me retake my math test tomorrow. .....(the crowd goes wild)...
so cool.
i still need to excercise...and i need to study some more tonight...i probably should be studying right now, but i was thrown off because i (stupidly) thought that EVERWOOD was coming on tonight. WHY HASNT IT COME ON?
whenever i think of studying i think of topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-908343182003-03-16T19:46:00.000-08:002003-03-16T19:46:05.246-08:00"WE FOUND A NEW KIND OF DANCE IN A MAGAZINE, TRIED IT OUT IT'S LIKE NOTHING YOU EVER SEEN" -spoon
okay really. i want to dance. i want to break free and just let go of everything that is holding me back, everything that is bundled up in my chest in a yarn-ball the size of my fist. i am so sick of things. i'm so sick of failing, and not being good enough. i'm sick of myself. i'm sick of worryingtopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-907367242003-03-14T15:43:00.000-08:002003-03-14T15:43:06.233-08:00i'm going to my dad's this weekend. i'm pretty excited about it because i dont get as much pressure from him to be perfect, as i seem to get from my mother. i'm not so pumped up about next week because grades come out, and my grades arent ship-shape to say the least. oh well, i'm freakin' out but i cant to anything about it now :(.
but the good news is that i'm getting a massage tomorrow!!!!!!!topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-906543822003-03-13T09:00:00.000-08:002003-03-13T09:00:57.093-08:00"now i love to feel that southern rain, just to hear it fall is the sweetest sounding thing." -ben harper
so i'm back from the big Disney World with the youth group. it was special. i made a lot of friends out of people that i wasnt as close to as i thought i was. i developed a clique, i guess. but it didnt feel the same because there was some seperation between the older seniors and us smaller topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-900831492003-03-03T17:42:00.000-08:002003-03-03T17:42:04.263-08:00i was just eating my strawberries again. only this time with vanilla ice cream....mmmmm....and i thought to myself that i could eat vanilla ice cream without strawberrries..but i cant eat strawberries by themselves. and i thought that well i'd just have sugar and strawberries...my yummy delish dish that i was talking about earlier. i thought that i eat the strawberries and sugar together because topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-898757792003-02-27T18:32:00.000-08:002003-02-27T18:32:46.293-08:00This night sky's brighter than any i've ever seen / your words are rolling off your lips and i've never heard a voice so soothing / your curly hair drapes in your eyes, and soon your hand falls into mine / and i can only hope this night is endless -my lost cause topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-898662262003-02-27T15:16:00.000-08:002003-02-27T15:16:52.140-08:00dude i thought mr rogers was going to live forever and be like moses or something.it just now hit me htat he's gone. i really liked his show!!1 ive been trying to think of all the tv shows i watched when i was little. i really liked barnie back then. and there was thsi show called eureka or something? and i liked ninja turtles. and then after that it just went straight on to saved by the bell. i topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-898120582003-02-26T18:43:00.000-08:002003-02-26T18:43:04.233-08:00i could drown in counting crows' music.somehow their music just reaches me out and grasps onto me and swallows me whole. i love it! and even when i get tired of it i just keep on listening. i done things kind of awkwardly with them, i have their first cd and then i have their newest cd...and now i'm about to burn their second cd.... yeah...doesnt make sense to me either. i bought a new journal topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-896295562003-02-23T18:40:00.001-08:002003-02-23T18:40:03.293-08:00im so tired!!!!! ffhjdshfjskhfkjsh! anyway, so the grammys are on right now, and my little brother is in the next room watching them. i can hear avril lavigne singing, and that's ALL i have to hear to know that i relaly dont wanna watch it right now. eek i'll post a longer one latertopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-896295582003-02-23T18:40:00.000-08:002003-02-23T18:39:29.000-08:00im so tired!!!!! ffhjdshfjskhfkjsh! anyway, so the grammys are on right now, and my little brother is in the next room watching them. i can hear avril lavigne singing, and that's ALL i have to hear to know that i relaly dont wanna watch it right now. eek i'll post a longer one latertopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-895612982003-02-22T11:15:00.000-08:002003-02-22T11:15:57.500-08:00okay so i'm back. i guess that i stopped so that i could figure out if i really wanted to blog anymore. i mean it shouldnt be that big of a deal, but for some reason it really is. i stopped posting things that really mattered. i lost interest, and it was more of an obligation to write. so i just wrote in my journal more. well my hand's really tired of writing in my journal, and i need a new one. topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-895334012003-02-21T19:38:00.000-08:002003-02-21T19:38:58.653-08:00MY FRIDAY NIGHT
JoeDon123: i'm crying
mswildchild23: im dying
JoeDon123: i'm not lying
mswildchild23: or denying
JoeDon123: i'm just sighing
mswildchild23: because i'm trying
JoeDon123: your story i am buying
mswildchild23: it's keeping me from flying
JoeDon123: your picture i am eyeing
mswildchild23: i look at it when the chicken is frying
JoeDon123: as when your shoe you're tying
mswildchild23topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-894047732003-02-19T18:28:00.000-08:002003-02-19T18:28:31.583-08:00You'll never know what happened to me
It's just one of those things
I was sitting by myself
And my thoughts started pouring out topangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5045417.post-890103872003-02-12T19:14:00.000-08:002003-02-12T19:14:33.040-08:00wassuptopangahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10102256809615449778noreply@blogger.com0